


when i see you, i see the world

by irondadismyreligion



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hurt Peter Parker, Mental Health Issues, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:08:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23304391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irondadismyreligion/pseuds/irondadismyreligion
Summary: It's Peter's nineteenth birthday, but Tony knows something is wrong. Comfort ensues.
Relationships: Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man), Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 116





	when i see you, i see the world

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! Just a quick little oneshot, trigger warning for mentions of PTSD. Stay safe, enjoy the whump and comfort.

Peter eyes the note May left on the counter. He imagines she hastily scribbled it out before dashing down to the hospital. It says, _‘Happy Birthday, beautiful boy! Sorry, I had to go into work early, make sure you eat more than a protein bar, please!! See you after lunch. Love you, May.’_

He smiles at the loopy hearts May scrappily drew in the corners of the curling sticky note, and makes a note to grab two bars on his way out, instead of one. Peter wonders what he would do without her. 

His phone buzzes. Tony is calling. He presses the answer button without hesitation. 

“Did you get a good night’s sleep, or are you just leaving the garage? Wait, actually, I don’t want to know,” Peter grins, protein bars in hand as he closes the door behind him, lock clicking into place. Happy already left early in the morning, to ‘get things in order’ at SI before their trip to the cabin later that day. 

Tony ignores the comment, a deep, bright tone emerging from the receiver.

“Happy Birthday, Spiderbaby,” he croons dramatically. 

Peter rolls his eyes at the name as he hears a slight chuckle on the other end of the line. 

“Thank you. And I’ll have you know I have very good intel about your horrendous sleeping patterns, so don’t put off the question.”

The older man sighs, “Pepper is a traitor. I swear, her betrayal stings every time.”

Peter laughs, a real, hearty laugh. But he can’t ignore the way his heart clenches too. 

“So, you miss me lots and lots? I’ve heard absence makes the heart grow fonder,” Peter says, ducking around the corner on his way to Delmar’s.

He swears he can hear Tony’s smile. 

“Absolutely not. And on a totally unrelated topic, can you please get your butt up here ASAP? I think Gerald misses you a lot, and he’s taking it out on the blueberries again. Pepper’s gonna kill me.”

“Yeah, the llama, okay. Smooth, Tony.”

“Alpaca, Pete, he gets very offended if you call him otherwise.” 

Peter rolls his eyes, “Anyway, like you already know, we’ll be heading up as soon as May has finished her shift. You can wait, you're a big boy.”

Tony huffs, “MJ’s still coming, right? I’d hate to miss out on my favourite scary person.”

“She said she’s coming as long as Morgan’s there, something about having intelligent people to talk to. We’ll pick her up on our way there.”

“Why isn’t she with you?”

Peter sighs, “Her mom insisted she stay with her while we were in the city since we were here for only one night. We’re kinda in high demand since we left for college, if you haven’t noticed.”

Tony hums in affirmation. Peter continues, “Ned’s also coming, and I mean Ned, not Fred, not Ed, not Ted, just in case you forgot, old man.”

Tony sucks in a sharp breath, “Old man? Sorry, mister, but you’re turning the big one-nine, today, so don’t talk to me about old.” 

“Happy told me last night, and I quote, that I was ‘a spritely young fellow’, so there’s that.”

“That man needs to stop watching Downton Abbey, honestly. ‘Spritely young fellow’? Who does he think he is?”

Peter laughs, again. “Alright, I gotta go. ‘Bout to order the best sandwich in Queens, to eat all by my lonesome, on my birthday.”

“Save the pity party for tonight, kid.”

“You’re so mean to me. Morgan doesn’t treat me this way.”

Tony scoffs, “Because you sneak candy into her room every time you visit.”

“Do not!”

“Goodbye, kid, see ya later.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Peter wishes he didn’t hang up. 

  
  


______________

  
  


Peter wonders why, surrounded by his family, he can’t seem to feel happy. He’s alive, and so is Tony, practically his pseudo-father by now. He has a little sister, Morgan, whom he adores, May and Happy are happily engaged, Pepper treats him like a son, and Rhodey’s basically his uncle, (there’s trouble when Rhodey, Peter and Tony are left alone). Peter has his best friend, Ned and then, of course, his amazing, beautiful, genius partner in crime, MJ. 

It’s his birthday, too. So why are Peter’s smiles all fake? Each move, each word, doesn’t feel real. 

After cake, (caramel swirl, Peter’s favourite), he heads out to the edge of the lake to get some air. There are too many people, and Peter can hardly breathe. 

He doesn’t notice when Tony comes to sit next to him. 

“Hey, kiddo.”

He barely glances over. 

Tony wraps an arm around Peter’s shoulders. 

“It’s all a little overwhelming, I agree.”

“I didn’t say that.”

Tony smirks, “You didn’t have to. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Peter says nothing. 

“What’s going on?”

Peter shakes his head minutely, “I’m fine. Just wanted some air.”

“Tell me the truth. Won’t laugh, pinky swear,” Tony says, pinky extended between them. 

Peter can’t help but laugh. 

“C’mon, kiddie, can’t help if I don’t know what’s up.”

Peter leans his head onto Tony, “I don’t think it’s something you can help with.” 

“Talking, though. Heard it works wonders, hmm?”

Peter breathes in deeply, the sound shuddering in unison with the wind drifting over the lake. 

“It’s like after all the crap happens, and the world ends, and then everything is suddenly okay again. But it’s not, because you’re just waiting for something bad to happen again. And I can’t feel happy in a room of people that I love when the whole time I’m just thinking one day it’ll all go to shit again.”

He pauses, voice cracking, “I feel like I’m waiting to lose you all over again. And I don’t know why, because after it happened, I was fine.” 

“But now you’re not,” Tony finishes. 

He nods, “It’s like a delayed reaction. And now, I just freeze up when people talk about the snap, or Thanos, or the battle. It’s like they all moved on, and I’m still stuck.”

Tony ruminates over this, rubbing his thumb and forefinger over Peter’s shoulder rhythmically. They’re both quiet, for a little while, until Peter looks up at Tony. 

“Tony, sometimes I can’t breathe.” 

His mouth sets grimly, “I know, kid, I know.”

This is the last thing Tony wanted for Peter. It breaks him a little, to see the hurt in Peter’s expression, to hear it in his words. 

“After New York, I was the same. I was so focused on preparing for the next battle, I couldn’t see what I was losing right in front of me. I couldn’t sleep, I got panic attacks all the time. I was so afraid of losing everyone around me. Still am.”

He turns to Peter, taking his hand, “Pete, I don’t want this for you. I never wanted this for you.” 

Tony wants to stress this, more than anything. 

“I was diagnosed with PTSD and an anxiety disorder, no surprise there.”

“What’d you do? To help with it?” Peter says, voice barely a whisper. And the recognition in Peter’s face hurts, hurts so much Tony can barely look at him. He never wanted Peter to see himself in Tony. 

“Got help, went to therapy. They put me on medication, I still meet with her, once a week.”

Tony inches forward and wraps Peter in a hug, “Peter, I think you need to get help if this is how you feel. I can set you up for a meeting, if you’d like, for when you go back to MIT?”

Peter nods into Tony’s chest, “You’re pretty cool, for an old man.”

“You’re gonna throw out jokes at a time like this, huh?”

Peter laughs, “I handle emotion with uncomfortable humour. One of the things I get from you.”

Tony sighs, “What’s the bet that they’ve already finished the cake off without us?”

“Likely.”

“Do you want to go get a second slice?”

Peter shakes his head, “No. I think I’d rather stay out here with you for a minute.”

“Okay, kid.” 

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Let me know in a comment! Have a great day :)


End file.
